Living with a narcissist can make your life miserable. But it’s even worse if you must spend any moment of the holiday season with them.
The narcissist in your family tree may be a parent, an adult child, even an in-law. Whoever it is means putting up with their incessant need for attention, their self-aggrandizement, and their endless supply of criticism (aka self-loathing projection).
A toxic narcissist can ruin even the best parties making you wish your New Year could be spent with others, anywhere else.
Narcissists are great complainers and problem makers. Those that get a New Year reprieve from their narcissist are always thankful for their escape. Narcissists often become even more disordered during the holiday season because that’s when they typically have more opportunity to gather more attention.
Here are some tips on how to protect yourself from a narcissist as you celebrate your New Year:
Go ‘No-Contact’
It may seem a bit extreme and even simplistic, but it’s best to cut off all contact with a narcissist if you value your mental health. This may include stopping physical meetings, blocking their numbers, black-listing their email, and removing their presence from your social accounts (they are known for being stalker-ish). Basically, eliminate them from all existence.
Remember …
A narcissist will attempt to lure you back into their toxic web of drama and manipulation. It is important that you not be fooled by their ‘miss you’ messages and ‘I’m sorry’ gifts and ‘You know who really loves you’ brainwashing, because it’s always a trap!
Reduce Contact as Much as Possible
If a no-contact approach isn’t possible, then go for a reduced-contact approach. Avoid meeting the narcissist whenever possible and eliminate all contact over social media. The more time you spend associating with a manipulative narcissist, the more pressure you’ll be under to engage with them, which leads to unneeded anxiety and stress. You cannot control their behavior, but you certainly can control how you respond.
Understand Your Narcissist
If you must continue some form of contact with a narcissist, then it helps to understand their manipulative techniques so that you avoid being ensnared by engaging in their inevitably draining dance. Narcissists are unable to regulate their self-esteem without continuous external validation and fueling (emotionally they are like a car with a leaky gas tank).
The narcissist has an overwhelming desire for social dominance and thinks nothing of replenishing their empty emotional “fuel tank” through their increased access to people during the holidays.
Their mantra of being wronged and victimized by horrible others is their “go to” lullaby they sing to anyone who will lend an ear. Typically, the lack of attention (fuel) following the holidays results in a deep and self-hating depression that lasts well into the spring as new sources of supply are sought. I’m sure you have seen this cycle, month after year after decade…their dance moves are predictable, if nothing else.
This year let your New Year’s resolution be: