Is there a narcissistic Wicked Witch in your life? Beware! She may have her own “flying monkeys” as well.
A term coined from the popular movie “The Wizard of Oz”, flying monkey refers to someone who orbits around a narcissist, obeying their orders and doing all the dirty work for them. These people are somewhat brainwashed by their narcissistic masters and will always support and defend them – which may sound unreal and absolutely unbelievable – but it’s a form of narcissistic ‘abuse by proxy’ that happens more often than you’d think.
How Does a Flying Monkey Act?
If you’ve been in any kind of relationship with someone suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, you know the extent to which a narcissist can go just to maintain their own self-image. With a narcissist, you can feel your self-esteem going down the drain while your emotional and psychological health erodes the fleeting sanity you have remaining.
But it’s not just that one single person who’s damaging your mental health, there may be some minions (flying monkeys) at work as well.
Who are these flying monkeys and what is your narcissistic partner making them do?
People blinded by the charm of a narcissist work to strengthen his/her ego, and try to comfort the narcissist by offering help in any way they can. These flying monkeys may be manipulated by the narcissist into …
- Spying on you after you’ve cut the narcissist out of your life and reporting back to their masters about pretty much anything and everything that you’re up to.
- Spreading hurtful gossips about you to make you feel awful, because you’ve been daring enough to stop their narc master from controlling you, and well, they hate you for that.
- Holding group interventions to make you feel bad about your behaviour towards the narcissist.
Flying monkeys can sometimes be people you won’t suspect, and mostly they don’t realize what they’re doing. For instance, if the narcissistic person in your life happens to be one of your parents, the flying monkeys could be your siblings.
How to deal with them?
“Rise Above” instead of trying to defend yourself, stay calm and emotionally disengaged, and if you’re too broken, get a therapist on-board to help you heal and strengthen.
You can do it!