A Narcissistic family’s scapegoat is forever suppressed under the weight of rage, unhappiness, family drama, and the Narcissist’s needs. Although a manipulated victim of narcissistic abuse, the scapegoat has many strengths that are also their means of redemption.
Isolated, Confused, Maddened, Yet Strong
For narcissistic parents, anyone who challenges their family narrative is a threat. So, they target the most threatening child – criticizing, attacking, blaming, shaming, and continually manipulating him or her.
The scapegoat has many duties to fulfill, from appeasing the Narcissist, to keeping the happy family image intact, as well as acting as a parent to the parents.
Although allegedly weak and having an extremely confused sense of self, the scapegoat actually has numerous strong personality traits.
Moreover, a scapegoat’s position in the Narcissistic family as a survivor, if not a fighter, reinforces their sense of justice and makes him or her empathetic towards others.
The scapegoat’s traits include:
- A strong will and mindset
- Empathy towards others – both in and outside of the family
- Sense and need for justice
- Caring and emotionally reactive nature
- Protective of others in the family, including the Narcissist
A scapegoat grows up learning to sacrifice his/her needs in order to fulfill the narcissistic parent’s constant manipulative demands. They are trained to put others’ wishes and interests before their own, and would be shunned, blamed, criticized and punished for pursuing their own goals.
As a result of coping with the extreme pressure of family needs and the fear of abandonment, a scapegoat child develops the ability of forming and maintaining healthy relationships. That’s because, unlike their self-centered Narcissistic parent, the scapegoat is empathetic towards others, emotionally sensitive, and good at taking care of those he/she loves.
But …
The role is not without its own psychological harms, including anxiety, depression, and the overwhelming need for external validation.
Hence, if you feel like you’re the scapegoat of your family, it’s recommended you connect with a therapist to help ‘keep your head above the waves’ of the never-ending psychological abuse you know all too well.