Setting boundaries is never too easy, and it can seem nearly impossible when you’re dealing with a toxic ex.
But if you fail to develop and maintain healthy boundaries with your ex, your future relationships are likely to be doomed.
Getting divorced is typically a difficult time and an unpleasant experience. It’s crucially important to set healthy boundaries with your ex if you are to prevent unsavory events in the future. But are you ready to do that?
Here are some signs that will help you determine if you have healthy boundaries in place:
- You allow yourself to be swayed by your old sex life and often reminisce about your old romantic tales with your ex.
- Either your ex or you yourself use children to win battle against the other partner. You may even foster the telling of lies to turn the kids against your ex.
- Your co-parenting does not work because your toxic ex prefers to engage in arguments.
- Your ex stalks you, and you don’t actively stop them from doing so.
- You’re drawing them back into your life through business affairs, matters unrelated to children, or personal issues.
- You can’t help contacting your ex even when you’re in a relationship with someone else.
- New relationships seem impossible.
- You turn to your ex whenever in need of a suggestion or advice.
How to set healthy boundaries?
Want to make your life easier? Moving on is the best solution. And the most effective way of doing that is by setting healthy boundaries.
Whether you’re divorced, separated, or just had a breakup, you need to identify your boundaries and communicate them clearly to your ex. Often “communication” is action with less talk.
For example, cut your ex’s calls (except if it’s an emergency – if children are involved). Use email if communication is necessary and remain vigilant with its use. Do not bring your ex into your house or socialize with your ex.
Lastly, if your toxic ex is making it hard to continue with positive co-parenting, parallel parenting might be a good option for you!