Often we hear how family is a single unit and should remain so.
However, there are certain families with a member or two who feel disconnected from the rest. They’re usually referred to as the black sheep of the family who don’t come home very much, or who’re not allowed to come home.
Bringing back such family members can be hard and it may even seem impossible, but when done right, family reconciliation can bring about joy and new beginnings.
Why and How to Reconcile with an Estranged Sibling?
The reasons why a certain family member estranged can be many – from having a different nature, to psychological issues stemming from childhood trauma, addiction, or something unacceptable that they did in the past.
Sometimes, a sibling may even be estranged because they were told “I never want to see you again” by a parent or any other family member. At other times, they simply don’t want to apologize or can’t overcome their strong feelings against the family.
In such instances, a common question is:
Should you bring back the estranged sibling?
Yes! At least, give it a chance of success.
Family reconciliation is one-way of moving forward and enjoying new beginnings, given that you do it right. For this, ask yourself these questions beforehand:
- Have we changed and experienced emotional growth?
- Is there a possibility of rejection? If yes, are we ready to deal with it?
- Can we put our anger and hurt aside?
- Can we maintain strong clear boundaries for a healthy relationship ahead?
- If things do not work out, do you we have professional support ready to assist with managing a resurgence of feeling rejected and abandoned again.
First step, speak with a family counselor and learn to take baby steps at first, towards reconciliation. You can try building trust again by either discussing and sorting out what happened in the past, or by simply inviting the estranged sibling to come and spend a few hours with the family.
Remember not to discuss difficult issues in your early meetings and wait until you and others have worked through intense emotions and are ready to listen and understand each other’s perspective. This is a process that cannot be rushed. Take your time and prepare for this challenging journey.