Narcissists are a tough bunch. It’s not just hard to live with them, it can be impossible and unbearable.
The company of a Narcissist can drive you mad in a short time period, sometimes happening without you even realizing it!
What is Micromanipulation? How Do Narcissists Do It?
Whether a person has been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder, or another form of psychopathy, know that manipulation and control is their way of achieving ‘the goal’.
While manipulation is easy to identify in some cases, such as if the narcissist is your boss or a friend, you may overlook the signs if the manipulator is someone you really love or trust. Because, feelings of love come with vulnerability, you naturally align yourself as an easy target of narcissistic abuse.
Narcissistic manipulation doesn’t necessarily need to be overt or direct, it can be very covert too, known as micromanipulation.
Here are some common signs you’re being subjected to micromanipulation:
- They’ll try to make you believe in their idea of ‘the truth’ to gain (or re-gain) control over you. They may often tell you things like ‘you’re overreacting’, or ‘she’s just a friend’. It’s an easy trap to fall for!
- If you try to break the relationship, a narcissist will quickly revert to ‘hoovering’ you back in with idealization. They may send you apology gifts, drop messages such as ‘I never meant to hurt you’, or ‘I really love you’, and even threaten to attempt suicide.
- Since the narcissist craves attention, they may try to gain control over your thoughts and feelings by creating a situation in which you’ll react. Such as, they may send and then delete a message, or send it and then tell you it wasn’t meant for you. These micromanipulations are not only common, they are intended to bait you into any attention they can garner – positive or negative.
If this sounds all too familiar start with ‘grey-rocking’ that narcissist! You can find tips and tricks for this technique in our blog library.
Don’t believe the lies that you’re being fed, and as soon as you are ready, it is not too early to partner with seasoned clinician who has extensive experience managing both perpetrators and survivors of Cluster B traits. Stay strong, there is hope – and you can overcome and thrive despite the narcissist(s) in your life.