Narcissistic abuse affects over 158 million people in the U.S. alone, and a majority of these narcissists are absolute control freaks.
They try to possess and own their partners, friends, children, accomplices, and almost every single person in their lives. Voice your concerns and you’d find yourself trapped in a whirlwind of narcissistic abuse.
The inflexible authoritarian nature of narcissists is what makes them extremely possessive, selfish, judgemental, invasive, and mean. Additionally, for those with whom they’re in a close relationship, narcissists can also appear to be quite competitive and jealous.
Understanding the Feelings of Jealousy in Narcissists
Although they share many similar core characteristics, not all narcissists are jealous. Those who are often mask this trait with seemingly harmless concern, care for their partners and back handed “compliments”.
If you must associate with a narcissist who’s jealous of your success and happiness, you might hear statements such as:
- I feel jealous about you because I love you so much.
- I can’t bear to be away from you, even for a minute!
- I just don’t want anyone to mistreat you.
These statements may appear to be romantic and loving for a moment, but it’s their underlying jealousy that won’t let them see you happy or content with your life. If you’re succeeding in your career, they may even ask you to stop working for reasons such as to take care of the baby, have some rest, etc.
Similarly, if you’re making a new friend, your narcissistic partner may view this as a threat to the psychic influence and control that they hold over you, thus the urgent need to terminate contact with “others”. Remember, they don’t want their “ownership” over you to end.
How to deal with a jealous narcissist?
- Set boundaries and never waiver from them.
- Anticipate retaliation and rage, at the onset (normal & predictable).
- Access therapeutic support as you go no-contact or gray rock (more to come on this).