Narcissists, Holidays, and Predictable Seasonal Theatrics?

Do you dread holidays because of the narcissist in your life?

Then there is not doubt you have been through the ‘devalue and discard’ game – on multiple occasions – especially during the holiday season (birthdays are no exception). That’s because narcissists are hellbent on destructing and dismantling close relationships and making others feel “less than”. They thrive on a continuous supply of drama, chaos, conflict, and a high dose of consistent attention, which they need even more than usual on any special day.

Surviving Narcissistic Abuse on Holidays

Does your narcissistic partner, ex, boss, adult child… insult, humiliate, and abandon you on holidays? Crushing your dignity and breaking your self-respect into a million pieces?

Dodging the bullets of abuse fired by a narcissist is never easy, but if you know some tricks, things may go more smoothly than before.

To survive the next upcoming holiday, consider the tips below:

  1. Remember: a narcissist is always a narcissist and will act narcissistically. So, don’t expect them to act any differently, especially if it’s your birthday, anniversary, holiday, or any other special day.
  2. It’s almost impossible to upstage a narcissist, so stay back and avoid engaging in disapproval and minimizing the proclaimed achievements. Don’t want to face biting sarcasm, insult, or silent treatment? Resist your urge to disrespect.
  3. Negative comments are a narcissist’s weapon of abuse, don’t take them personally and avoid acting out / engaging. This may frustrate the abuser and the chances are high they will begin to ignore you and focus their toxicity on someone or somewhere else. Remember, they live for the drama and supply of any attention, good or bad!
  4. Expect them to absorb the energy of the room, be dominative, and steal the show. They need the attention and attempting to prevent it feeds them more morsels of theatrical supply.
  5. Have an escape (mental and/or physical) plan ready in case the narcissist explodes with rage. Access your escape plan as many times as is necessary and stick with it.

Holidays are special occasions and will be over before you know it. Use this time for extra sessions with your therapist or coach to help maintain your strength, as you masterfully navigate the narcissist in your life. Control what you can, have a plan and use it.

And most of all, enjoy yourself. Happy Holidays!