In a society where transphobia runs rampant, it’s common for parents to mistreat, mishandle, misgender and reject their child if he/she denies conforming to the gender they were assigned at birth.
Such behavior often causes mental health issues in transgender individuals, such as chronic depression, anxiety, stress, feeling of loneliness, low self-esteem, and suicidal thoughts.
Hence, the number of suicide attempts is 1.5 – 3 times higher in LGBTQ individuals as compared to those who identify as heterosexuals.
Easing Your Child’s Journey Toward Transition
When your child comes out to you, your first response may be to deny it. Unfortunately, this is one of the biggest mistakes that one can commit as a parent to someone who feels like they were born in the wrong body.
Even if the ‘coming out’ takes you by surprise (which is what usually happens), denying your child’s true identity or saying things such as ‘it’s just a phase’, ‘it’s not possible’, etc. can lead to increased risks of your child developing mental health issues.
So, how can you support your transgender child?
First things first.
If your child comes out as transgender, never ever tell them that they ‘can’t be transgender’ because they’re ‘too old’ and there weren’t any ‘signs’.
Know that it’s your child’s decision to make. It’s your child who’s experiencing all of this and will need to navigate their journey. Finding a way to accept who they are today, can be incredibly healthy and helpful for your child and you.
Moving on, if your child is not facing lack of acceptance from their family, he/she should also be allowed to transition at their own pace.
It is normal if your child comes out to you but is not ready to come out to the world yet. There’s no need to push them into unnecessary binary by imposing your sense of gender onto your child. It is also not your job to share their private matters. Talk with them to see how and what allows them to feel most comfortable.
All in all, a positive and supportive parent who is understanding and accepting will allow your child to blossom and flourish. Allow them to pace and transition the way they envision it, over time. Let your child decide how fluid their journey will be.