The process of ‘coming out’ to your parents, or anyone else in your life, involves three basic steps:
(1) Understanding your feelings
(2) Accepting them, and
(3) Valuing your newborn identity. Only after you’ve passed through these basic steps will you feel the readiness to ‘come out’.
How to Come Out Without Shame?
This is a major concern of those who identify themselves as gay, bisexual, lesbian, or queer – telling others about their gender identity and sexual orientation without feeling ashamed.
Honestly, coming out can be harder than imagined. That’s because our many societies reinforce certain gender stereotypes, norms and outdated laws. Breaking these ‘boundaries’ can cause you to become socially isolated. This is why a large percentage of LGBTQ individuals don’t feel safe coming out, because they fear the negative criticism that might come their way.
However, if you’re thinking of coming out, your first step should be to fully embrace your identity yourself. Explore yourself, understand your feelings, acknowledge and embrace them.
Although coming out can be huge and somewhat scary, it can be liberating too, because you don’t have to hide your feelings and identity anymore.
- Begin with identifying your identity, accepting it, and being proud of who you are.
- Next, pick someone who you feel will be safe and supportive and thoughtfully listen to what you’re going to say to them when you come out.
- Now, choose a time, a place, and prepare beforehand by thinking about the words you want to use to frame your statement and the answers to any questions that others may ask you.
In case the reaction you receive is not what you expected, don’t lose hope, and certainly don’t give up! Get help from a support group or a professional therapist instead of isolating yourself and letting the initial discouragement bring you down.
Although you might be feeling scared, isolated, or even ashamed of your identity right now, after you’ve freed yourself, you can honor and be true to yourself.